I had the pleasure of meeting two entertainment lawyers who were seasoned veterans in the ways of SxSW.  They offered to show me the ropes of the Austin nightlife and taught me a valuable lesson in the process.

Matt was the younger of the two lawyers and was an aspiring musician himself with two albums under his belt.  At the second show of the night, he was gushing over the ethereal beauty and poignant lyrics of the musician who was up next, Meiko.  She came out before her set to get a drink and was standing long by the bar.  Matt, star struck, was staring at her with longing in his eyes yet wouldn’t make a move towards her. So, trying to be a good wingman, I figured I’d break the ice and tell her what a huge fan I was while nonchalantly introducing Matt.  Well, I didn’t realize at the time that I had committed the cardinal sin of fandom.  Shortly after forcing this introduction, I was admonished for interfering.  So here’s what I found out – and I’d like to impart this wisdom on to fellow fans so that you too can avoid such a fatal mistake.

In the world of music, there are two types of fans – those who revel in their fandom and unabashedly worship the musicians and those who pretend to rise above the superficialities of celebrity to make a deeper, more authentic connection with these musicians.  They’re no longer just fans.  No, they’re friends, they’re confidants, they’re equals.

It’s important to know, though, that it’s difficult to make the leap between the two types of fans.  If you start out as the adoring fan, you’re already firmly entrenched in the audience that the musician cannot see you as “one of them” unless you do something extraordinary to demonstrate your worthiness as a colleague.  Few have attempted such a leap and even fewer have succeeded.  Thus, it is much easier to build this emotional bond with the musician by coming off as a disinterested acquaintance who isn’t impressed with the superficialities of celebrity since it is, of course, something you’ve experienced yourself.  Even if you haven’t stepped foot on stage, you must speak to the hardships of the shows, the road, the groupies.  You must demonstrate that you can empathize with the artist’s struggles.

So next time you try and do your friend a favor by introducing him to his musical love interest, think again.  Don’t debase his existence by making him into a lowly, simpering fan.  After all, he needs to build his “street cred”.  In this circumstance, the best wingman is either a fellow musician or an industry professional but never, ever should you be just another fan.